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The Vacuum Issue 4 spacer Issue 4
I Love Ducks
by Stephen Hackett
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If the question is posed how do you decide what your favourite animal is? Sometimes the decision can be made from the most tenuous association.
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In any case my favourite animal is the duck, I've had a few encounters with ducks and find them most agreeable, I've also eaten a few and they were most agreeable. But when people say what their favourite animal is it's usually a pet or a creature that they have kept or developed a relationship with. Others may pick an animal which they imagine describes their character, but often the choice is notional and this is certainly the case with me.
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I Love Ducks
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At school students are asked to draw and paint pictures of apples, old boots; analytical studies it was called. In these classes I took pleasure in painting pictures of wicker ducks, not the real thing. The Wicker duck has mad spiralling eyes, it looks like it has taken too many psychoactive drugs and its back is hollowed out so that one may place fruit inside. Again my favourite Album cover is Duckstab (pictured right) by the San Francisco group 'The Residents' recorded in 1978. On the cover a man stab's the duck but its ok, I know the duck is not real. It looks like it's made of cardboard. Still it's disturbing, why is the man's expression so gleeful, he's not even looking at his stab work and maybe the duck really wants it. I reckon the duck holds the power here.
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So would I keep a duck as a pet? Well apparently when dealing with a duck you must establish 'surrogate mother status'. The animal will then happy follow you everywhere, the downside is the constant quacking, the energy and high level of activity that the duck maintains throughout the day. It sounds like too much work, I think I just like the look and character of the duck.
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