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Pravda spacer Issue 10
Pravda - The Corporate Golf Swing
by Eugene MacNamee
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Strange to report but the first thing that jumps to mind on commencing my perusal of such a business minded organ as 'The Corporate Golf Swing - The Official magazine of the Belfast Telegraph/Yellow Pages Company Golf Challenge 2003' is the concept of redundancy. It would be bizarre indeed, to a terrifying degree, were there to be several (even two) magazines vying for the position of herald to the 'Belfast Telegraph/Yellow Pages Company Golf Challenge 2003', so the designation 'Official' for 'The Corporate Golf Swing' seems, to put it meekly, a tad overblown. In more strident terms, the word 'Official' is a lousy time-server, a pompous parasite sucking valuable business blood, wasting all our time.
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'The Corporate Golf Swing' is a svelte glossy newsletter produced to attract teams to and chronicle the progress of 'The Company Golf Challenge'. It is distributed free with the Belfast Telegraph and presumably is produced by the backroom team at that paper, since no writing or production credits are listed on the magazine itself. It aims, in short, to encourage business people to play subsidised golf with each other. The obvious latent intent is that the gratification gained in this pursuit would lead them to reward the Belfast Telegraph and Yellow Pages with advertising revenue.
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The expository text of 'The Corporate Golf Swing' only occasionally peeps out from amidst the deep ruff of self-satisfied publicities where garish photographs compete with garish claims: 'Golfwear as you've never felt it'; 'Contoured for your every move'; 'supreme inland course'. When the text does appear it reflects well on the expressive powers of the English-as-a-second-language author; 'Š very welcome new for 2003 the Northern Bank for their financial help' 'The tournament taking the same format in 2003' etc. etc.
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The main body of this slim volume is given over to descriptions, photographs and diagrams of the courses where qualifying tournaments are held. In these sections the various authors principally stick to facts about length, number and quality of holes and limit themselves to a single use of the phrase 'in the swing of things.' The photographs generally feature the clubhouse - imposing mini-castles where much business will surely be done. The diagrams are God's-eye views of the course, re-touched by David La Chapelle.
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Much play is made of the generosity of the sponsors, and in truth the package offered of freebies (everyone needs a towel sometimes) playing, eating, drinking and possibly winning golfy prizes for the four-member-team entry fee of £225 (plus VAT) is impressive. You're all too late for 2003, but keep your eyes peeled for 'Corporate Golf Swing 2004'.
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Pravda - The Corporate Golf Swing
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