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The Vacuum Issue 12 Down Mexico Way spacer The Vacuum Issue 12 - Down Mexico Way
My Beef
by 'Dirty' Bertie O'Really
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You bunch of nepotistic clientalist corrupt just put the brown envelope in the old top pocket there and we can all have a nice cup of tea and forget all about it and you tarmac my driveway and I'll tarmac yours dat's right just slip us the cash in the brown envelope dere and we'll have no more about it now sure we're all Irishmen here now aren't we oh you'll have no worries about that why thank you minister the shopping centre will definitely get planning permission yes I'll bet you had a good view of the war from across the Rio Grande you garrulous posturing obsequious sycophantic slick and slimy villains who sold us all down the river for a joke third rate banana republic with a collection of Blueshirts for a police force and an apt rhyming slang for a currency and for Christ sakes a governing elite going by the moniker the warriors of destiny and we'll just stick a lick of green paint on the old British system and call dat our liberation and our country you despicable bourgeois banditos and as for the Celtic Tiger you Panther Sahib neo-imperialist scum who lined your pockets and screwed the poor and it's about right that you have the European Union presidency at the moment I'm sure you'll be slipping so many brown envelopes under the tables and into the top pockets that it would make even the Italians blush you who conduct politics as though it were the Eurovision Song contest you saccharine sweet and smarmy ingratiating gangsters who have the ingenuity and vacuity in perpetuity to keep yourselves smiling on the top of the pile you whose only public forum for ideas and debate was a television programme fronted by someone called Gay Byrne I mean that's not a proper civic and public culture that's just free subliminal advertising time for purveyors of sexual lubricants and we all know who could have done with some of that yes you moralistic hypocrites who rule that republic were slipping more than just cash-stuffed brown envelopes into people's pockets but we'll have none of that now and let's all just instead live in a De Valera fantasy land of comely maidens that makes The Quiet Man seem like a piece of gritty social realism and while we're on the subject of Dev let's not forget the telegram of condolences to the German people on the death of Hitler I'llbet by that stage in the war they were chuffed with that one or the banning of Charlie Chaplin's The Great Dictator because it was offensive to the Führer you Fascist Mexican scum who comprise a ruling class on a mission to prove correct every stereotype that Victorian England ever imagined but to call you Mexican is finally an insult to the people of Chiapas and the integrity of their resistance to American imperialism yes you scum Free State my arse the only thing free there is the tax breaks for a rich ruling class whose Taioseach invariably models his dodgy sleazy tanned skin on the complexion of Tollund Man and is as brown as the envelope he neatly slips into the old top pocket.
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