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The Vacuum - Issue 16 - Satan spacer The Vacuum - Issue 16 - Satan
At City Hall
by Sir Arthur Chichester
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Politics is essentially a struggle between good and evil. Every day the forces of darkness work overtime to advance their cause. And every day the angels of light toil tirelessly to halt the sordid march of the devil's children. Needless to say it is a thankless job.
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Take recent events in our glorious City Council, for example. On more than one occasion this titanic battle has been played out in the committee rooms and chamber, often slipping out into the black and white columns of our fine news journals.
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Halloween was one such event, that basest glorification of everything evil in our society. For many years Halloween has been charading as a 'cultural celebration' or a 'tourist opportunity' by the mandarins and liberals of Donegall Square. But concealed beneath the froth, lies a rotten bile worse than any other. Paganism.
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Thankfully this year the valiant defenders of the Sabbath were led by the saintly Councillor for Balmoral, Ruth Patterson, who staunchly defended the right of all god fearing people to keep the city's Sundays clean and holy. This was not just a matter of an 'event' on the lords day, it was an 'event' the purpose of which was to usurp the power and glory of the almighty himself.
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But alas, what return did Councillor Patterson receive for her brave efforts. Pilloried by the liberal mafia who control our media; satirised by those scrawlers who call themselves cartoon artists; and heckled by spineless politicians who are more interested in fun than salvation.
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The result of this unholy coalition of devil worshipers and pagans culminated in a disgraceful, nay immoral decision by City Council to celebrate Halloween on Halloween.
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No sooner has the city begun to recover from this traumatic ordeal than another front was opened in the war of evil against good. In the pages of the Irish News, The Newt (a symbolic reference to his allegiance with the forces of darkness) told of a proposal to place, in the very heart of the city, at the very cradle of God himself, a Black Box.
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And what is this Black Box, if not an epicentre of devilish debauchery. Its very name reeks of sin. A place of music and theatre, of mirth and frivolity, of intemperance and lewdness. Once again that evil alingement of forces in the media and immoral politics were working to create a direct confrontation between God and the Devil himself.
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Once again an angel of light entered the fray in the bodily form of Councillor for Victoria, Jim Rogers. The Black Box must be stopped he said. To his aid came the good Dean of St Anne's himself, Houston McKelvey. If this evil plot was not stopped they cried, our city centre will be awash with 'cultural' events, chalk graffiti and the most unmentionable affront of all ñ young people enjoying themselves.
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This sinister plot must be stopped. But like Halloween the decision will rest with that craven body, City Councill. As always, God and the Devil are stalking the corridors of that beautiful building. From my perch in the rotunda I can only look on and observe, waiting for the eventual outcome.
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