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The Vacuum - Issue 16 - Satan spacer The Vacuum - Issue 16 - Satan
Irish Dancing is Evil
Jason Mills
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And it came about as soon as Moses came near the camp that he saw the calf and the dancing; and Mosesí anger burned, and he threw the tablets from his hands and shattered them at the foot of the mountain. Exodus 32: 19-21
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As you are currently reading the Devil Issue of The Vacuum when you should be rejoicing in the word of its polar opposite, this article is addressed specifically to you as a wanderer from the flock into the realms of sin. Hopefully the Biblical passage above will serve to act as a timely reminder of the evils and perils of dancing. Not to mention calves. Moses, having clearly been momentarily duped by Satanic forces into embarking on a drug-run for the mountain party, was shaken to his senses upon his return by the sight of such lascivious revelry, and disposed of the ecstasy he had acquired before any further damage could be done.
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Indeed, the Puritans recognised dancing as catering to the lusts of the flesh and introduced a fitting punishment for those caught in the act, in the form of a good public whipping. Unfortunately, such forms of correction are not longer considered politically correct, and must now be pursued in private. Luckily, since those days we have had a number of important, righteous figures eager to reinforce God's message regarding this deplorable pastime, which aggravates the ruin of virtue caused by human weakness. Former FBI director Edgar J. Hoover, a man certainly in a position to know such things, famously pointed out that 'Most juvenile crime has its inception in the dance hall, public or private', before the Reverend Ian Paisley brought us bang up to date by exposing line-dancing as the 'war against the soul' which it most surely is.
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In Ireland, the plague of dance even took on its own form in the development of a distinctive style of sinfulness developed over a period of many centuries. Initial suppression by the English slackened in the 1700's and soon 'Dance Masters' appeared, travelling around their regions instructing local villagers in the ways of Beelzebub. This continued to evolve throughout the nineteenth century until the Catholic Church sensibly stepped in to iron out Irish dancing's licentious indiscretions. Clearly, movement of the arms was extremely provocative and had to be outlawed before it led to any number of improper gesticulations between male and female. So, rather than forbidding dancing altogether, the church kindly set up supervised dances in parish halls with one basic ground-rule; arms were to be kept straight down by the sides to avoid any lustful impulses of straying hands. Anyone failing to adhere to this principle was liable to be poked rather sharply with a stick.
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And so it was, until recently, when forces of darkness collided to produce an inherently evil phenomenon which swept the land, bringing anarchy and corruption, and drawing countless unsuspecting members of the general public under its spell. I speak, of course, of Riverdance, with its scantily clad females dancing in unison with men, in a vulgar display of wantonness and unbridled lust. And at the centre of this organised revolt against the spirit, body and soul is the Dark Lord (of the Dance) himself, Michael Flatley.
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Now, it is clear to me and others of pure body and mind, that the Devil is using Michael Flatley to pass on the message of Satanism. This message is being transmitted through Morse Code via Mr. Flatley's tap shoes, and subliminally decoded by the brains of all those who come into contact with it. Although there are still dangers even if the show is only experienced through the medium of television, obviously the effects are much more powerful if it is encountered in the live arena. I challenge you to identify a single person you know who has been to see Riverdance or Lord of the Dance and not once acted in a suspiciously witch-like fashion since the ordeal. Using special ecclesiastical ear-plugs for protection, I studied some video footage of this malevolent anomaly, and was horrified to see that Flatley's message was being further reinforced by the legions of his minions, dancing obediently in synchronicity around him. Indeed, any dancer who falls out of line is forced by Flatley to eat glass, and often they mysteriously 'disappear'and are replaced by a new puppet for the next show. And as if all of this were not proof enough, then what of the inexplicable popularity of this hideous act of evil? Surely the only Christian thing to do is to have this ostentatious display of heresy outlawed by the EU, and I urge you all to address letters to the relevant governmental departments as soon as you have finished reading this, in the name of God!
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