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The Vacuum - Issue 18 - Waste spacer The Vacuum - Issue 18 - Waste
BelfastPride.org
by Peter Rollins
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'Homosexuals are 19 times more likely to die in a traffic accident!' Set up as a response to Belfastpride.com (the homepage of the Pride festival) Belfastpride.org is not some unsubstantiated, fundamentalist diatribe against the 'evils' of homosexuality. It is the appliance of science to the issue. Here we find objective, undeniable proof that being Gay is certainly not about being Happy. Homosexuals, we are told, are 19 times more likely to die in a traffic accident. Lesbians, a particularly unfortunate subgroup, are 21% more likely to 'die of murder, suicide or traffic accident' a rate which is '534 times higher than the number for white heterosexual females aged 25-44'. No mention of the rate for black heterosexual females, but this is but one lapse of detail amidst a virtual almanac of necessary knowledge. One of the more sinister facts that this site exposes is that 'the seduction of younger persons is a pattern most homosexuals follow'. Although it doesn't give precise statistics I could have a rough guess that it is around 50%, the other 50%, on my reckoning, do the other abominable evil of seducing people who are older than themselves. But the most striking fact of all is that '50% of suicides can be attributed to homosexuals'. I am not sure exactly what this means, perhaps homosexuals spend their time convincing people to end their lives, maybe they simply encourage those who are already depressed, or they may even go as far as providing the drugs, knives and rope which people use, but whichever it is this conspiracy must be stopped.
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To the great credit of the writers, they do not allow rigourous scientific method to cloud their basic sympathy. After reading through the eye opening section detailing 'filthy practices' (if you don't know what felching is this is the place to find out) and the very informative page dealing with 'filthy facts', each of which tell us time and time again about the 'sodomities', 'sex perverts' and the 'evils' of 'a disgusting practice to be loathed and hated', we read: 'In sharing our experience, we are not necessarily suggesting that everyone can change. Nor are we saying that everyone should try to change. We are only sharing our own experience, about what was right for us and what worked for us. We have no desire to try to convince people who are happy living a gay life that they should be dissatisfied. If 'gay' works for them, great. We are not suggesting that those who embrace and accept a gay identity and choose to live as homosexuals are sick, or wrong, or somehow 'less than' others. They are as deserving of respect as we are'. Yes, them and their 'filthy practices'.
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While the basic orientation of the site is purely scientific, we're left in no doubt that this is Christian Science; facts straight from the Big Guy. God, for the authors on this site, seems a bit like that guy in Harry Enfield who always agrees with whoever he is talking to, hating what they hate and believing what they believe. Strange when I thought part of the point of Christianity is that under God everyone's supposed to be a heretic who gets things wrong. This site can be read as pretty funny stuff, until you remember that somebody had to write it, and that they probably even believed it. They probably even believed that they were doing other people a favour with this pseudo-Christian, psuedo-scientific nonsense. Then it's just depressing. As Nietzsche once said of the bible, when reading it, wear gloves.
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